Dance Competitions are here again. As I prepare students for their very first competition, I’d like to share a little talk I have with them beforehand. Maybe this can help put things in perspective. Hopefully, it's a reminder for all of us before getting caught up obsessing about points and status as competitive events grow and become more common.

Dance Competitions, Staying Level-Headed!

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Why did you start dancing? 30 years and thousands of students, and only 1 has replied, "because I want to compete." Virtually all others respond with things like, “I love moving to music,” “to do something healthy and fun,” or “to meet people.”

What’s your favorite thing about social dancing? “I’m just so happy when I dance,” “I forget about the stresses in my life when I’m dancing,” “so fun connecting with different partners,” "love being part of a wonderful, generous, and kind community."

Never forget why you started dancing and what brought you joy before you ever even thought about your first dance competition. Competitions can be exciting and great experiences if you have and maintain a healthy perspective. However, I've seen competition kill the joy of dancing for many, and even create some monsters.

It's obvious preparing for competitions can motivate you to learn and practice the right technique, moves, style; give you a goal to keep you focused; and accelerate your improvement. The excitement and adrenaline of the competitive dance floor can be euphoric and addictive. The camaraderie of the community of competitors can have its own special fellowship and sense of belonging. These are just some of the great benefits of entering dance competitions.

On the other hand, be careful of falling victim to pinning your value as a social dancer--and overall self-worth-- on how well you do on the competitive dance floor. I have seen many wide-eyed, smiling happy social dancers...become picky, dispirited, or curmudgeonly dancers after being "burned" on the competitive dance floor.

At this point in the talk, I usually bring up a handful of examples of great people, students, and dancers that just exuded joy whenever they social danced and were generous with everyone—then how they changed when they discovered competitions and became a bit obsessed. Some ended up quitting competitions and came back to fully enjoying social dancing as they did before. Others dropped out of the dance scene altogether because of how the competitive experience killed their joy. Some even lost their friendships, families, and jobs because of how it carried over into their personal lives. Of course, I keep these anecdotal stories anonymous. But, if you’re an experienced dancer, I bet you can think of several examples from your dance friends and acquaintances.

In dance competitions--say one where there are 120 entrants--there is 1 winner, and 119 losers. You may be a winner one day, but you most likely will be a loser most of the time. Are you ready for that? Are you willing to face that result? You may even have a great streak and make finals, place, or even win many in a row. But, inevitably, there comes a day that dries up. How will you handle that?

Dancing is an art. Yes, there is a science to it, and some may consider it a sport. But, let's be real...what's pleasing and esthetically desirable is highly subjective. It's not like many sports where you get a ball in the net to score points. Artistry is a major factor, and art is subjective at its core. Well-trained and ethical judges do try their best to be objective and remove any personal bias in their scoring. But even the objective criteria can vary widely from one event to another, or even from one judge to the next.

What rank a judge wrote on their clipboard after watching you for 5 seconds cannot sum up the hours, weeks, years, you've spent dancing. It should never replace the countless moments of joy you've shared with so many people on the social dance floor.

On being around Champions:

In some genres, being a "Champion" is a relatively easy designation as there are so many categories and levels, and events, and often not many peers, so just by chance you can have 33, 50, or even 100% probability of winning. So, if you find yourself surrounded by people claiming to be "champions," don't let it intimidate you. They are not necessarily more desirable dance partners than you. And, as human beings, they are the same as all of us--vulnerable, insecure, looking-to-fit-in-and-be-liked. Remember we relate first as humans and what we do for each other and humanity off the dance floor, rather than how many medals and trophies we have, or how many points we have in a dance ranking system.

Some of my favorite social dance partners were not strong competitors, they feel so great to dance with and we have so much fun, but they were never successful in competitions. On the other hand, I've had a hard time connecting with and would have awkward dances with some dancers who are winning competitors. Winning competitions doesn't necessarily equate to being a desirable partner on the social dance floor. And, sometimes it's actually the opposite.

To sum up, please remember this...Nobody is going to remember that you got first place in your dance competition two weeks ago. But, they will remember that really fun social dance they had with you two years ago. The prize I most cherish in my dance life--seeing my partner smiling from ear to ear and at the end of the song saying "that was such a fun dance, you made my night." My wish for all of you, to have many moments just like this, creating joy for yourself and others each time you go out dancing.

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